Week 11 Check- In Reflection

 Two things you might want to address in this week's field reflection . . . first, how did returning to the classroom go?  Do you feel you were able to pick up where you left off in terms of your relationships with students, or do you feel you're having to start over due to the extended break?

Recently, I participated in a middle school professional conference and at one of the sessions, the speaker (a counselor/social worker in her school) shared statements she had heard from several middle schoolers.  Two of them in particular stuck out to me:

"Stressed out teachers stress me out."  and "I don't want to be in my own head with my own thoughts."

Are you seeing this in the students you're working with?  Any thoughts about these statements?

Being the first week back in the classroom, for the second round of practicum, I was a little nervous to return, to be honest. I was worried that students were going to be hesitant to talk or allow me to work with them in the classroom because when I left several students were visibly upset. Yet, returning to the classroom, for both classes, the students were right there asking just as much as I was asking how they were, and they had missed me. The relationship that I had created in the first round with students, I realized had not disappeared like I was afraid of. I know for my students, that it can be hard to trust people, so seeing that they continued to be themselves once I returned was enlightening. I don't think I am having to start over in terms of the relationship with students, I think the relationship aspect of SEL has stuck. I was most surprised that some of the students that have to be reinforced with correct behavior or told to stay on track, were the most excited to see me. I think it shows that although they are disciplined the most, deep down they want discipline and structure because it is a need not being met somewhere else. 

At Southside I am definitely seeing stressed-out teachers, but I can tell by the looks on their faces during the passing periods. The teachers hide it decently well during class, yet if there is a class that you can visibly hear not following directions, or the classroom management isn't going well, then I can tell it affects students who can hear it. It creates a fractured focus. I feel like students have so much on their plates already, that when they see their teachers stressed out, the people who are supposed to be 'perfect' in some of their eyes, then it creates a sense of doubt in themselves. For the student that said the second statement, I am definitely seeing that with students in my classroom. The students I've noticed tend to be self-deprecating to themselves, or others. These will be quick remarks, but the more I have learned about some of my students' home lives, I can tell they would rather think of anything other than their own thoughts. I know school isn't some of their favorite places, so it is a battle in their head, in terms of where they want to be, and what they should be thinking. Their thoughts consume their focus, and they have to be reeled back in. 

Both of these two statements make me feel for students because school is already stressful enough for middle schoolers because they are trying to figure themselves out and their identity, and it can be a dark place for some or a great social place for others. I think those statements show that schools are pushing students with more and more assessments and standards, as well as teachers, and it is becoming a draining place, not a place for time to be spent to the fullest with learning.